*We are officially done with everything we can do! Today marks the 2 month mark of being "paper pregnant". We are just waiting:) With our agency, we are not told when our profile is shown. Basically, once our caseworker left our home from our final homestudy, we will not hear anything until that call comes. I think this is a wise way for our agency to go about adoption...they have bee doing this for a long time, and they work hard to protect both the rights and freedoms of a birthmother, and the emotions of the adoptive family.
*Every adoptive momma longs for that phone the ring and for that blessed sentence to be spoken from her caseworker. One day, our phone will ring. It could be next week, next month or next year. We long to hear the words, "We have situation." Probably, though every situation is different and there is no way to be sure about anything...probably our little one will be placed in our arms very soon after that call comes. We really don't have set expectations of how everthing will play out.
*Yes, we hope to have a semi-open adoption, depending on the situation! This will be up to the birthmother and at the discretion of our agency. I am so thankful that Covenant Care works diligently to protect the birthmother, baby and adoptive family!
A few months ago, I was beginning to feel frantic. There are over 147 million orphans worldwide who need a home. Our state's foster care system is full of precious little ones in need of love and security. Our love for birthmothers grows deeper by the day, and how we long to pray for and love our birthmother by name. It is hard to just wait when you desperately want to welcome a child into you home. If you had told me that after 2 months on the waitlist I would be calm, that I would go from jumping every time the phone rang to just discovering that I have answering machine full of messages that I have not checked in over a week....then I would not have believed you! Over the past 2 months, the Lord has filled me (on most days!) with peace, my heart with rest. Sure, I daily long to for our little one(s) to be placed in our arms, but again, and again, and again, He has reminded me....spoken to me the voice of truth.....and I find myself content in His truth:
*I cannot "save" and adopt every child who needs a family. God does not "need" any of us to take care of those He has created! In His great mercy, He has called and encouraged our family on the journey, and all glory be the Him for allowing us on this journey!
*Before the foundations of the World, God knew I would be, He new Kenny would be, He knew who this little would be. It is He who knits together life, and it is He who will bring this life to us, in His time, not our. Nothing we can do will speed this up! (And in the end, I think we will look back and be glad we could not change a thing!)
*I want our baby, the one the Lord has known and set apart for us. I long to love our birthmother, the one for whom our heart so hurt. If we have to wait a month, year or decade for our baby and our birthmother....we will do it! I look at the faces of Evangeline, Landis and Samuel....I would do pregnancy, labor and that scary complication over, and over and over for those little lives. One day, I will look at the face of our baby, and I will say, "I would wait over, and over and over for you!"
In the end, the timing, the details, the finances, the fundraising, the waiting......He will make it beautiful in His time. For once, I am glad I am not in control! All I must do is sit back, love the 3 little ones He has placed in my care, bask in His pace and praise Him for guiding us on this journey......and one day, probably when I least expect it....that phone will ring! All glory be to Him, Who Was, and Is, and Is to come!