Discouragment

Have you noticed I have not posted anything of substance over the past couple of weeks? My heart has been full and heavy, and I have not blogged about it because...well....I do not want to offend anyone (not that many people read this blog!) However, because this blog is our "adoption journal", because this IS an important part of our adoption journey, and mostly because I COVET your prayers and encouragment, I decided to share with you my heart.
Adoption is expensive. Why? There are a lot of real, legitiamate cost. Homestudy, medical checkup and tests, plane tickets...on and on the list goes. Two of the "biggie" costs are the agency fee and the country fees. Half of the agency fees are used to run the orphanage/transitional home (Hannah's Hope) in Ethiopia. Now, the counrty fees. Think about a counrty (Ethiopia) in which a large majority of your population are children. Adults are dying of aids... few have a job, few have food, poverty abounds. There are 4.6 MILLION orphans. Hum...who do you tax to gain revenue to get these kids off of the street and into an orphanage. THAT is what counrty fees go to...to meargly feed, house and clothe a large majority of the population. That keeps them somewhat alive, it does not provide them with a family and a future.
A month ago we sent out about 60 support letters. Let me say these letters are NOT the sole way we plan to fund our adoption, yet we have for months prayed that the Lord will use the generosity of His people to bring our little one home. I know many famililes do not feel comfortable sending or receiving adoption support letters. We have received them before and have been happy to be a part of giving an orphan a home. I see them as no different than a missions trip support letter. I realize in these letters we ask for a donation...it is a generous gift which we do not EXPECT the recipients of these letters to give, but did anticipate some friends and family wanting to be a part. What we did not expect, is over 4 weeks time of sending the letters, is to receive not a penny, not so much as a word of encouragment or support. We are on a timelime of when fees are due, we are 30 days into a 90 day timeline of our whole adoption process being stopped if fees are not paid. I realize that some of you reading this also received a support letter......I AM NOT REBUKING YOU, I am only trying to be honest in sharing the discouragment in our hearts. I realize we do NOT live in a town that has a culture of adoption. Churches here have not "caught the vision" of being "a father to the fatherless". I realize we live in the south, and anyone over about the age of 35 seems to be fine with a prejudice attitide. We have been SHOCKED at the comments we have received concearning our adoption. I am not even talking about race/skin color comments...... I am talking about adoption in general. I had thought about posting some of my most asked question/ comments...most of them made by Christians....... but I won't. They just are not worth repeating.
Through it all, I realize that my trust in the provision of the Lord is not as it should be. I KNOW that He will provide, but I do not rest at peace in that. I find myself walking around the house, thinking of what I could sell on ebay......thinking of crazy fundraising ideas. (Anyone want to join Kenny and go get paid to donate plasma? Yea, crazy fundraiser ideas.) I do not rest at peace in the will, the timing and the provision of His ways.
Oh, we beg for your prayers. I know this is the hard, difficult journey the Lord has called us on. We long for your prayers!

Today, Kenny stopped by for a quick lunch. I went to get the mail as he left....in it lay our first support check. The sweet family who sent this knows who they are...know that you have encouraged us in a way you will never fully realize. We love you (and are doing a little happy dance because of you!) I realize that very well could be the only support check we receive. We will press on, trusting the Lord and waiting on Him. Please pray that we will trust in His provision!