Today marks the 7 month mark of being homestudy ready and officially waiting. And yes...that's in addition to the months prior when we started this adoption journey. We never, never, ever thought we we would be waiting this long.
How to I find my heart today?
Quiet, calm.....and (for the moment:)...content with the wait.
Oh, don't get me wrong, we are ready for that call to come. We are longing to meet our peanut.
But this journey is the Lord's, written by Him...and we are willing to wait on our child.
When that day comes.....I know we will be filled with nothing but praise.
I cannot think about our baby without also praying for our birthmother. Seven months we have been waiting. Has she been pregnant these seven months? Is she even pregnant now? Has our child been in foster care all of these months? Has our birthmother lived at home with a family who loves her? Is she being treated with extra mercy and kindness this Christmas? Has she seen our profile yet? Does she want to choose our family for her baby, or are we her only choice? Does she know we don't "just want her baby", but long to meet her as well?
I have been asked the following question many times, and have asked it myself even more:
"If there is such a need, why are we waiting?"
Are there really children in the US who need homes, or are we simply adopting domestically to "get" a newborn.
Children are starving, dying, longing for a home all over the world.....and here we sit, profile ready...just. waiting.
I know the truth, though it is not always easy to "feel".
This journey is the Lord's. It is He who knows our child...who knit this child together. Yes, we pray and even long to adopt children internationally. Children who who are sick, have special needs, have never felt a mother's love.....who are HIV positive and life on earth could be cut short.
However...at this time, in this adoption.....our child is here. And we must wait on that child! We have "done" what we can in this adoption....and now we will wait.
Our baby isn't ready yet.
When the day comes that our baby is ready, that phone will ring. And the wait will be over.
And the celebration will begin.
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We never thought we would pass through the summer without meeting our child. Much less the fall....and certainly not celebrate Christmas without our baby in our arms.
The journey is the Lords and we are blessed and thankful to be a part of it!
We cannot speed it up....try as we may.
This Christmas, I pray our birthmother may relish the moments her baby kicks within her. I pray she is shown love, grace and mercy.
And if our baby is in foster care, I pray this little one is doted on and celebrated......
and millions of pictures are taken:)
Seven months waiting.....means we are 7 months closer!